I am worried about my future.
I have always done things that I wanted to do. I chose things that I believed will make me a better person, things that fed my intellectual needs… But for the first time I feel like I have to make a decision according to what other people think.
I have been committed to do TFA for two years after finishing up my master’s program. But this also means I will have to push off my medical school applications until the 2016 cycle; because applying with the intention of deferring a year will not reflect good on my application. Also, after talking with many deans, advisors, they think my future aspirations (MD-PhD) don’t align well with my want for doing TFA.
Anyways… there are a lot more variables to this story, but to cut it short… I feel like the things I value at this point in my life is not the best choice for my future goals, and I have to decide what I will be doing… and I DON’T WANT TO DECIDE!
Sorry about the whining, but I needed to vent somewhere…
On a positive note… I am having a very intellectually stimulating time in my lab. I am learning so much, and really getting an idea of what kind of person, especially what kind of researcher/doctor I want to be.
Art is a discipline that is practiced with passion and science is a passion that is practiced with discipline
My first semester of M.S. is over!
… also I have one publication that has been accepted
… along with a few more in the process
… met some amazing people doing amazing things
… and am getting a better grasp of the type of physician I want to become.
This journey is looking like a long one.
Things have been pretty hectic for me lately.. which reflects on my lack of posts.
My first semester here is coming to an end and I have learned more than I ever dreamed of. Classes have been pretty limited, but the lab is amazing. I have also been spending around 20% of my time at a local hospital doing palliative care research.
Doing lab work and clinical work like this has really sparked my interest in MD/PHD programs. I am suppose to be working towards applying in 2015 June, but with my future commitment to teach for america, there have been mixed consensus from people when I should actually apply.
Some deans are telling me I should wait until I am half way done with TFA so that I don’t have to defer if I get an acceptance. Applying with the intention of deferring doesn’t show full dedication and may act negatively towards my application.
Some are telling me not to do TFA at all if I am really serious about MD/PHD programs…
Oh what to do, does anyone have some insightful thoughts regarding this?